Mama Musings: Part I: Contentment & Learning to Be Where I AM
Motherhood. Such a blessing. But if we're being honest, for most (all?) of us, it is a daily challenge in just keeping up with it all. I am going to start a somewhat regular "Mama Musings" blog post here to share my joys, struggles, and lessons from my own walk with "#Motherhood."
It seems that lately, the only time my brain really feels in-tact or fully functional is when I am out on a run or a walk. Away from my desk. Away from my chaotic home (even though I am a warrior in trying to make it a peaceful zone). Away from my 2,000 item to-do list.
I usually go to church on Sundays with my family. But today, I needed a different version of "church." So I laced up my shoes, leashed up my ChiWini (Chihuahua-Weiner Dog) Junebug (who can miraculously go 3 miles running with no issue), and headed out the door for a RUN.
Wait a minute. Nope... not a RUN. A WALK.
You see, the last 9 years of being pregnant carrying babies IN my body, having babies, carrying babies again OUTSIDE my body, managing a home and family, starting a business, working 2 jobs, and having a business explode into a great big awesome challenging-to-keep-up-with yet HIGHLY rewarding job and income for my family - those things have certainly taken a toll on my body. In about 1000 ways. And I have been dealing with some pretty major chronic injuries that impact my daily life. It has been a rough-go the last 6 months.
Recently, I injured my knees (yes, both of those darn things) from a session I did. And for the last 2.5 weeks, I have struggled to walk without pain, go up and down stairs without pain, and certainly haven't been able to workout like normal. Walking is the only thing I can do for activity right now without too much pain. (Thankfully, I am on the mend - finally.) :)
So this morning, I cranked up the volume on my phone and turned on my favorite "Jesus songs" and headed out for a 2.5 mile speed walk. (My favorite song right now is "Touch the Sky" by Hillsong United. Powerful and amazing lyrics. See the video/song/lyrics here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1RQciil7B0)
And y'all... It was CHURCH. My soul was moved. I had quiet (or not so quiet?) time with God. And do you know what God kept bringing to my mind as I was walking?
This.
Be where you are. Right NOW. Be HERE.
Not where you or who you once WERE.
Not where you or who you want to BE.
But HERE. NOW.
Because this is a pretty GREAT place to BE.
This struck me. I am a very driven person. I don't necessarily enjoy sitting around in life and thinking, "It's okay. Okay is enough." (But I've learned in crazy motherhood, sometimes OKAY is PERFECTLY FINE.) I like having future goals, things to strive for, numbers to meet, things to check off my "success" list. And I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing, because it has gotten me to where I am today. But I do think I take things (personally) to a place that might be more damaging than beneficial.
For so long, I have been comparing my life NOW... my body NOW... my abilities NOW to what they were 10 years ago when I was a twenty-something newlywed, super fit and active (my job was coordinating one of the largest Fitness/Wellness Programs in the country (at the Univ. of Texas)), and back when I had WAY more time, energy, and possibility to fit certain things in my life. And then when I forget about that for a moment, my brain goes go where I want to BE... Where I want my body and health to BE... The Colorado mountain cabin I dream of having for our family to visit and find peace... Where I want my business and work to BE...
Sometimes I lose fact that "The RIGHT NOW" is pretty darn awesome. Injured knees and all. Church today was awesome. Being outside and walking with my dog while having quiet time with God was awesome. The husband and kids that are coming home to me from church in an hour are AWESOME. Life is awesome.
Perfect? Heck no. But awesome and to-be-treasured? YES.
This blog post was more for me than anything... a lesson to remember and look back on. But maybe it touched you as well.
Feel free to hit the "Share" button on Facebook it it did. And do me a favor... would you leave me a comment so I can see all the fun people reading? Maybe you have a tip to "Treasuring the NOW" to share. Please do. I've found that Motherhood and Community are intertwined and I am so blessed because of all the Mamas I've learned from and continue to learn from.
Peace, love, and hopes you find the beauty in the NOW today. And stay tuned for the next "Mama Musings" post.
Love,
Sarah